Hello, my name is G.G. Allin, and I am quite possibly the man of your dreams... those weird dreams you don't even tell your therapist about. I am seeking a Valentine. Here's what I can bring to the table. Tomorrow night you and I will sit down at an empty table, all alone, just you and me. I'll tell you how pretty your avatar picture is. Then, I'll slowly describe to you how I'm going to go all-in until I have stripped you of all your chips. Then we'll get down to some nasty heads up all-in action. For this I will be forever indebted to you, my Valentine. I will be yours in infinite servitude except on Saturdays because I pretend to be Jewish. I hope to hear from you soon, my future Valentine.