"If you take prunes, and stew them up like apple sauce, they will taste much more like cranberries than rhubarb would. Now, you tell me what you know."

--- Groucho Marx.

Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.

Not everything worth doing is worth doing well.

If you put something off long enough, you may not have to do it at all.

“Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?”

"We came from the sea originally, now we're going back in it. Don't go in it, unless you're in a boat."

"Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine."

"I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff."

"I'm just sayin', I don't like fun"

"Any problem solved is a new problem made."

"You won't get anything done by planning."

Just a few from the great thinker of our time - mr Karl Pilkington

"Hand over the chocolate and nobody gets hurt."

"I just hate the general public" - Alan Partridge

A GOOD PERSON WILL DO GOOD. AN EVIL PERSON WILL DO EVIL. FOR A GOOD PERSON TO DO EVIL TAKES RELIGION.

Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea.
Winston Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.

Work is the scourge of the drinking classes. -Oscar Wilde

FREEEEEEEEEE TIBET!!!!!!!!!!!

Free tibet? OK I'll take it, thanks

Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick... We're flexible like that...